get them sit-ups' riding...get your tummy tucked in...

Seems like my mother has joined the 'get thin' bandwagon.

Now let me set the record straight. My mom isn't fat. She just has a big ass. When I mean big ass, I mean BIG BOOT-AY!

The kind of bootay that deserves it's own zip code, the kind of ass that would embarrass you as a kid, because everyone would tease you for it...

"Damn E. your mom has a big ass!!! How does she do it?...u know sit down with that big ass" Hardee har har

Thing is..my mom has a rockin' body...I wanna have her bod at her age. She has always had a teeny tiny waist, huge hips and a huge ass. As a child I would hate going out with her, because men would always make comments and whistle and be assholes.

Over the years, she has gained some weight, precisely in her ass, her waist is still small, but her hips and ass, oh boy.

So anyway, today as I was going to work, I walked in on Jane Fonda...err...My Mom, in her red tights, black sleevless t-shirt and white tennis shoes. She was doing laps around the coffee table, listening to the Mexican Singer, Talia (Tommy Mottola's wife).

Her take: I've gotta run these laps....I need to get in shape!!!

My take: Yeah sure, just take it easy round that coffee table, Jane Fonda...

Her take: Jane Fonda?? Who's Jane Fonda??

My take: Forget it...she's some excersise freak.

Her take: Yeah?! Well fuck you.

And she kept on trotting...
I hope when I get home I don't find her collapsed on one of those coffee table turns, they're a doozy.

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Thought of the day: People who have nothing to do, who call you at 8am to 'talk' need to do something...like watch Maury or something.